Irritated.

     The title pretty much sums it up. Work, technology, etc. Irritated. I haven't written in a while, so maybe I will feel better. I haven't even done anything with Across the Multiverse; I did a bit today, editing a conversation between two characters.
     But even when I'm trying to write, it's difficult, since Avast was fucking up my computer. I couldn't get on Blogger. And sometimes, saving and backing up is a pain in the ass because Windows Explorer keeps crashing. It's been doing O.K. lately, though. No one's read anything I've written, anyway.

     I like my job, but - as always - I'm not happy with my coworkers. In home care, there are always coworkers who talk shit. First, I've been dealing with a resident who hates me; then a few days later, someone told my manager that I sometimes purposely irritate the resident. I know how to irritate people; and if I want to do it for fun, I'm not going to irritate someone who automatically hates me, anyway. Then, I took two people to a Special Olympics event, then shopping. It was a good day, and they were totally cool. So, that evening, I was minding my own business after the paperwork and bedtime, reading some comics, when my coworker said that someone from another house called and said that I left one of our residents in the gymnasium by themselves. This is why I like my job, but hate my working environment. I talked to my manager about it, and she said that she didn't hear anything.

     And, to top it all off, I've been plagued by a light-sensitive headache behind my left eye (occasionally shifting to my right). The Cataflam helped a lot with my gout flare-up, but it hasn't done anything for my headache.

     I think, beyond the irritation, there's this underlying depression. I've been thinking a lot about my mom. Two residents at my work remind me of her. And I've been wanting to visit Michigan. I think that's because I still haven't dumped her ashes into the St. Clair River yet.
     I don't know. I'll nap on it.

Latest happenings.

     I've been feeling great about things since swearing off relationships for a while. While sex and flirting are still a part of what I do, I won't hold out for the whole long-term thing. I was bread in chaos and am still drawn back to it with unstable partners. One of my biggest lessons I've learned in years of therapy. Holding out for a stable relationship will just lead to more let-downs; and I've come to the realization that all my exes were just good sex that came with a fake relationship. So, why deprive myself from all of it? I mean, Anton LaVey even said "There is a beast in man that should be exercised, not exorcised."

     The first part of my first pentology is complete. I'm trying to get a proof-reader. In addition, I've been spicing up my flirtationships by experimenting with erotica. I don't plan on publishing it, but verbal word-play is always fun.

     I'm adapting well to the new house where I work. By living by the Rules of the Earth, I am respectful in another's home, but I try to use humor; but I flex muscle when needed, and they know I know I'm there to do a job.

     That job, however, is in healthcare. In a close-quarters home, if one gets sick, the others do, too. I am having trouble breathing, and I had to call off my Tuesday nights with the part-time company because I couldn't keep anything down. Eating nothing but jello and a bit of soup made me savagely hungry after work.

     The other job screwed with my hours and tried to give me another shift which was way out in fuck-off yonder. It's all a mess there. I called and said I couldn't do that. Really, the only reason I do the hours I do there is because I've become friends with the client's service coordinator and I'm not inclined to leave the client, because he's a cool guy. I guess they now understand that I'm loyal to people, not companies.

     I'm going to go take a breathing treatment and play a game.