Nostalgia and Embracing the Future

     I have to sound off on something. I'm in a couple of nostalgia groups that cover the 70s, 80s, and 90s. Every so often, you get these memes that say that a certain time period was the best and will never be good again. Coming from a rocky background, I think it's kind of silly if you think that having a certain part of pop culture in your life meant your childhood was awesome. It was hard to have a TV routine, for example, if you didn't have stability. You could enjoy that show one week, but the next week the TV is off and replaced with the sounds of other things.
     I like living in the Information Age that started as I became a teenager. It just not started getting good. I have all the nostalgic pop culture things available at my fingertips, and can enjoy them from the safer time of adulthood. Yeah, I'm heavier, sore for no reason, with diabetes and 'rhoids, but I wouldn't want to trade my life now for the chaos and fear of then.
     But I guess, every era will have its people who will chafe at advancing technology. I think that, since I was a science geek from way back, I always embraced the future. I can imagine, in 50-75 years, after the next technological revolution and subsequent age (which I think will be nanotech), people will be posting holograms of their child selves on social media, saying “We didn't know how good we had it back then.” And they'll be complaining about programmable matter or smart materials. Times change, and we should just take what we like from each decade as we go into the future.

Finally Writing Again

     With my old computer going to hell, my writing slowed. Also, the moving process additionally helped grind things to a halt. The second half of 2020 was the beginning of the move to the Bloomington area. It was hastened after the death of Denise's dad.

     Having SARS-CoV2 (COVID19) in the beginning of this year finalized my staying in my new home. I ended up with body aches and constant tiredness. Denise ended up in the hospital for a week and on an oxygen machine after. It scared the fuck out of me. I didn't want to face the future without her.

     I'm still in the process of moving my medical care to the area. I am out of one of my diabetes meds, just when my A1C went up to 11.5. At least it was 199 when I tested it recently. Not too bad, considering I had fettucine alfredo with chicken a few hours ago.
     Anyway, this year has been great, considering that I've moved in with Denise, even though the process, itself, has been aggravating. It's an adjustment for all involved. The lack of my psych med has made me a complete mess when it comes to getting tasks done, and hyper-sensitive to environmental stimuli. It feels like I'm on crack all the time.
     I'm back to my writings. Mostly, it's updating character names and some dialogue. I'm trying to re-immerse myself in the multiverse I've created as the setting. I've been reading and watching a lot of science to help with the science fiction part of everything. The expanded Kardashev Scale and extra-dimensional space are a couple of concepts that I obsess over.

     The only other new thing going on with me the past while is that I started learning Arabic. They say learning a new language helps keep the mind sharp. But, I was already learning Spanish, Russian, and German. So, I figured I would challenge myself with a language that is in an entirely different language tree (Afro-Asiatic, as opposed to Into-European). I'm better than I thought I would be in it. I dabbled with a few words when I was a practicing Muslim, but not enough for a head-start.

Future Shock

     After 20 years of being away, I finally made the trip back to Michigan. It took me a while. For the first half of that 20 years, I was making a life down here in Indiana. And, after a while of driving unsafe cars, I developed a fear of driving more than an hour or so away. The furthest I went was Virginia in 2013, but I took buses. But, after 11 years of not doing as I promised and scattering my mom's ashes, I finally went up there with Denise and William.

     On the way up, after we passed the border and driving on roads that sounded like flat tires, Denise kept pointing to every pond and saying "Is that a Great Lake?" Irritating her back, I put my arm in her face and pointed at the pond, saying "That, there? No."

     We finally got into the county in the later afternoon. My first priority was touring the places where I lived and went to school, giving Denise a bit of background of myself. I first went to the trailer park where I spent age 11 to 22. On the way there, I passed by the demolitions and site works business now owned by the kid that used to irritate me in middle school. It blew my mind. It was like my St. Clair County mindset was put on ice, and had woken up later; I uttered to myself "I'm in the future."
     We turned down the trailer park and everything came back to me. I felt dizzy. I thought of my paper route, which seemed to be on much wider streets. I saw the community center where I had my high school graduation open house. Then we passed by my old trailer. The paint had faded back to its original wood, and the carport was turned into a garage. I felt a combination of nostalgia and panic. Denise kept making sure I was O.K. I was. Later, I told William "You know about how you think you know more about video games like Mario and Megaman? That's where I was when I first played them. I'm old school like that."
     We then went onto the first apartment that I remember, a townhouse in the ghetto part of Port Huron. Though Denise didn't think it was as ghetto as I remember it was. From there, I showed her my preschool, then the place where I went to kindergarten, but it was torn down.

     That first evening ended with us going to my cousin, Mike's, 50th birthday party. On the way there, I took a look at my grandparents' and aunts' graves. I panicked a bit because I forgot where they were.

     Continuing on, we made it to the party. It was a bonfire in the back woods, with SUVs parked everywhere, and people going to get drinks out of tents and an RV. This blew Denise's mind.

     We took a quick trip back into town to pick up things, and that was when Denise got to see her first Great Lake, Huron, for the first time. She was enamored with it. I said "Now THAT... that is a Great Lake."
     Denise told me was surprised that my family was as redneck as they were. I told her I was only a bit surprised, and was up for any kind of celebration. I loved the lake-effect winds. We got lawn chairs and they looked for sweaters.
     We went back to the party and I remembered to bring the half-gallon bottle of Everclear I got in Indiana. I had a drink of it, refreshing the pop half-way through, and a rum drink they made.
     We talked, and since Mike lived in the same apartment complex as I did when I was little, he agreed that it was ghetto. The conversation took a serious tone when we mentioned my mom's old on-and-off boyfriend. I cried a bit, in light of the conversation and having a few flashbacks earlier in the day. It was cathartic, though. We spent the night at his place.

     The next morning, we went to Lexington, where we walked out onto the quay, then had breakfast. I showed them a few more places, and my elementary, junior high, and high schools (all around and near Lapeer), and then we went to see my uncle and aunt, but they weren't home.
     It was then time to go home.
     I got to thinking that it would be nice to make Michigan our vacation spot once or twice a year. Mike mentioned that our parents' generation always arranged get-togethers, but ours hasn't. Maybe it's time to make that change.

Happenings.

     Both good and bad things have been going on lately. In addition, spring is here and summer is on the way, so I'm feeling cranky. I just need to grin and bear the next few months.

     I found out the surprise that Denise had in store for me. I didn't realize that it had been a year since the last Brickworld -- a Lego expo. It's always fun to see what people have come up with.
     I knew not to stop at the concession stands. Fair concession food is always expensive.
     There was a cityscape that was based on Detroit (with one Toledo building). I told the guy that I instantly recognized it, being that I grew up an hour north and therefore recognized it because all our major networks came from Detroit and Windsor.
     Denise wanted to get me something, asking me to pick out a trinket or figurine. I didn't find anything related to things I like, like Lego Megaman, Agent 47, or any Borderlands vault hunters, so I was fine with saving her money.
     We spent the night in a hotel, having dinner at Dave & Busters. I found most of the staff to be rude. And I often get anxious in sardine-can crowds, given the fact that this is America, and being in such crowds runs a higher risk of being slaughtered. My anxiety got on Denise's nerves a bit. We smoothed it over, though.
     The next day, we went to the Children's Museum, and there was a Star Trek exhibit. The overall theme was how science inspires the imagination, which causes people to dream up fantastic technology, which causes engineers to achieve them. I sat in a replica of the original Enterprise's captain chair. Denise took my picture, saying I had a sly look on my face; I told her I knew what I wanted the pic to be titled: "The day a Romulan took over the Enterprise."

     She has been hinting to me moving there. I'd really love to, but I would do it in a slow, step-by-step fashion. I'm afraid of what will happen to Shortney. I feel she's being taken advantage of by someone she hasn't even met and something will happen. I'd like to see if there's a small apartment that she could find near Bloomington, but she's waiting for this mystery person and they claim to be in the Army and keeps coming up with reasons not to meet. I keep having to remind myself that I can't force someone to swallow the red pill.
     I would like to sit down and make a plan with both of them this month. First, I'm going to talk to Denise about it. I will wait for her to mention it first.

     One issue we need to figure out is what's happening to her boy. He went into the hospital with behavioral issues a few days ago. We're hoping he will be out next week. I'm afraid for her when I'm down here. I wish there were classes parents could take to, not hurt, but defend themselves with holds.
     I hope that, when I get there today, we can have a lazy weekend. After the stressful week, I think we need that.

Looking forward to the weekend.

     The start of spring has been a bit miserable, with health and weather. But I'm looking forward to this weekend.
     I was sick with bronchitis a few weeks ago, and I had to make up those hours over the past two weeks. I guess having a smoking client and pets around just gets to me after a while. The drastic fluctuations between warm and cold make it so much worse. Making up these sick days has worn me out.
     In addition, I've been emotionally drained. Denise's dad was close to dying. I think of it like this: 0 is death and 10 is healthy as a fit 20-something. He dropped to .001 last Thursday, then bounced to .75. Then a week ago, he dropped to .0001, then climbed back to .5. I did my best to be there for her and her brother. My way of coping was making observations and suggestions that could help; pushing down the emotions to try to be as stoic as I could.
     Since her dad has been feeling better, Denise wants to take me on a weekend getaway. She said I will need to pack a swimsuit. Since we're probably not completely done with winter, I am guessing this is indoors. Since it is overnight, I am guessing this is a motel or hotel. Probability leans toward hotel, since hotels are more likely to have an indoor pool.
     Regardless of where it is, I will be happy to have that getaway with this person I love dearly.

The holidays, and the off-balance winter.

     I wish I could update these blogs more, at least one a month for each one. But the internet at home keeps getting shut off, and my computer keeps having an intermittent connection; the internet might be working, but the computer doesn't always recognize it. I look forward to doing things I have to do online, but then I would get disappointed after turning the computer on. I could use my phone, but I make too many typos with my fingers and thumbs. I don't feel like I can express myself freely that way.

     The holidays were blah. Halloween didn't live up to Denise's expectations. Thanksgiving was fine, eating with her family. Christmas was O.K., but with little gift-giving, as finances aren't at their best. I found deals on 5th Edition Dungeons & Dragons books, so I did treat myself.

     This winter was so weird, with the polar vortex and flooding. Of course, conservatives trot out "What happened to global warming?" The pundits depend on the ignorance of the right-wing masses to not know the difference between weather and climate. Using the same logic, there can't be a world hunger problem if I just ate today. Anyway, climate change is causing icebergs to drift to warmer waters, which makes things like the polar vortex. Anyway, I'm ranting. I'll save that for my politics blog.
     The winter doesn't know what it wants to do. Roads will flood, ice over, then get brief snows. It throws everything off.

Survived the summer.

     It's finally October! For some reason, I always get excited about it when two things happen -- the corn starts getting harvested, and the Canadians have Thanksgiving. The first thing, of course, is because fall is harvest time for Indiana's corn. The second thing is a sentimental attachment; growing up on a bordertown, a large portion of my mom's nursing coworkers were Canadian. She would take extra days to cover for her coworkers who wanted the day off. Because of that, I ended up having nice birthdays.
     Speaking of my birthday, Denise is treating me to a trip to the Covered Bridge Festival in Parke County! I don't know what to expect, but I'm excited. Last year, she took me on a day trip to Nashville, which is a beautiful town in Brown County.
     One more overnight shift, and I will be heading straight there! I'll be taking the scenic route so I can watch out for leaves turning. Maybe some goth rock to accompany my trip! I need to get some apple cider this weekend, too. Yeah, and some pumpkin pie.
     I'm getting hungry now. I need to get some writing done. Almost done with the 5th story of my first pentalogy.