I had this amazing birthday celebration, thanks to my babygirl, Denise!
Monday, I arrived early in the morning (still Sunday night). We watched Netflix and cuddled on the couch. Then we went to sleep, and sent her son to school in the morning.
We napped until later in the morning. Then we had more Netflix/cuddle time. Then we said our first "I love you"s! Genuine ones, not hinting around to it. And I'm not counting when she was on pain meds after her surgery. Then we went to this neat little town, here in Indiana, called Nashville. We walked around and had lunch. Took this "cute couple" selfie in front of a fall leaf sculpture.
Later, she took me to Olive Garden. I had the never ending fettucine alfredo with chicken fritta. The more I think about it, the hungrier I get for more of that!
Later, at night, we laid together, but found it hard to sleep. And this isn't just because part of our nightly ritual includes her butt being massaged. We laid face-to-face, and each of us kept opening our non-pillow eye to look at each other.
After work, she treated me to a vapor flavor that I really dig! They weren't kidding when they labeled it "Caramel Macchiato"!
I'm crazy about Denise. I really love her. Still cautious, but still not seeing any "relationship red-flags" yet. I'm so happy with this one.
Tuesday, October 31, 2017
Thursday, September 21, 2017
It's finally fall. Let's hope for the best.
After a long, arduous summer that feels hotter on average than the ones before, it's finally fall. Around this time of year, I always feel a sense of mental and emotional renewal. I hope it counterbalances the blahs of the past two weeks.
I'm still dating Denise. I've met her family, who seem to like me. She's having a bit of the blahs, too; and I think our moods are feeding off of each other. For one thing, we're both sick again. Fatigue, aches, dizziness. I was off Tuesday, so I took that day to rest. Also, we've just passed the anniversary of her mom's death last year, and my mom's birthday.
Lately, she's been saying she's bored, relationship-wise, and hopes I will work with her to bring the fun back, as we seem to be stuck in a rut with our routines. I did go to mass with her, which she was really happy about. There are a lot of things I would like to do, like go hiking, camp out, go to a zoo, visit a big city.
I've rearranged my schedule so I can go with her as her +1 to a wedding this coming Saturday. She said I am "required" to dance, and participating in karaoke is recommended. I like that.
Work-wise, I've lost two clients, and one was in the hospital. Luckily, shifts were filled in. They want to keep me around, so they're trying to get me as close to full-time as possible.
There is some good news, and that is there's a raise on the horizon. After October 1st, the starting rate will be $10.25, with more experienced people (like me), getting more.
It's time to relax. I'm tired and hurting. Maybe some animated sitcoms and tea while I lay here.
I'm still dating Denise. I've met her family, who seem to like me. She's having a bit of the blahs, too; and I think our moods are feeding off of each other. For one thing, we're both sick again. Fatigue, aches, dizziness. I was off Tuesday, so I took that day to rest. Also, we've just passed the anniversary of her mom's death last year, and my mom's birthday.
Lately, she's been saying she's bored, relationship-wise, and hopes I will work with her to bring the fun back, as we seem to be stuck in a rut with our routines. I did go to mass with her, which she was really happy about. There are a lot of things I would like to do, like go hiking, camp out, go to a zoo, visit a big city.
I've rearranged my schedule so I can go with her as her +1 to a wedding this coming Saturday. She said I am "required" to dance, and participating in karaoke is recommended. I like that.
Work-wise, I've lost two clients, and one was in the hospital. Luckily, shifts were filled in. They want to keep me around, so they're trying to get me as close to full-time as possible.
There is some good news, and that is there's a raise on the horizon. After October 1st, the starting rate will be $10.25, with more experienced people (like me), getting more.
It's time to relax. I'm tired and hurting. Maybe some animated sitcoms and tea while I lay here.
Wednesday, June 28, 2017
The things you do out of boredom.
Out of boredom and curiosity, I looked up someone's profile on Facebook. It wasn't a lost love or anything.
Back in 1997, I went to a bar up in Port Huron. I think it was called George's. I parked my car across the street and walked into George's. As I was doing so, heard scuffling coming from the alley behind the Roche Bar (a local landmark). I saw a big guy pummeling the shit out of a smaller guy. At this point he power-bombed him (a slamming move often seen on wrestling).
I went into George's and told them to call the cops (life without smartphones).
I went back across the street with another guy (Mitch).
We went into the alley and saw the big guy holding the smaller guy against the wall, with his fist raised.
At that moment I blurted out "Back the fuck off of him!" He did so, and came for us. Mitch got in the way, and the bigger guy promptly knocked him out. He hit me twice, but nothing much happened. He then fled after hearing the sirens.
As the EMTs helped the smaller guy, whose head looked like a misshapen melon, I saw he had gang signs tattooed on him, one being a swastika. They got his name, Harold.
They caught the bigger guy, Jesse. He tried to be slick and put on a long-sleeved shirt. I identified him after I asked the police to have him pull it up to reveal the familiar blood-stained T-shirt. He later confessed to everything.
To this day, I wonder if Harold knew a black man saved his life. And if so, how does he feel about that?
Thursday, May 25, 2017
Today was decent.
I don't know what it is about folk noir and dark ambient music, but I end up having a decent day after listening to it the night before. My speaker I used with my iPod is shot, so last night, I put on Spotify on PS3, and listened to Dead Can Dance. It was nice and relaxing. Tonight, I'll probably try to see what of Hagalaz' Runedance they have, or maybe even go darker with Arcana or Midnight Syndicate.
I was awakened by a call from Michigan Courtney. She and I talked a bit before she went into work. That was nice. I went to sleep after that.
After waking up again, I saw a good morning text from my babygirl, DB. We chatted a bit throughout the day.
I checked my work E-mail, finding that one of the supervisors is interested in staffing me at a house with possible full-time hours. I then went to pick up my one client from here in town, and got a call to meet with a behavior specialist and another new client. In addition, I went to spend time with a new client in Vincennes. Also, I got a bit more in my paycheck than I expected.
When I got home, I found that the last bit of paperwork from my Pike County job has been done. I don't have to deal with those cunts anymore, as far as I know.
I guess things are starting to look up and I'm seeing sunlight through the murk. I'm definitely exploring Spotify tonight.
I was awakened by a call from Michigan Courtney. She and I talked a bit before she went into work. That was nice. I went to sleep after that.
After waking up again, I saw a good morning text from my babygirl, DB. We chatted a bit throughout the day.
I checked my work E-mail, finding that one of the supervisors is interested in staffing me at a house with possible full-time hours. I then went to pick up my one client from here in town, and got a call to meet with a behavior specialist and another new client. In addition, I went to spend time with a new client in Vincennes. Also, I got a bit more in my paycheck than I expected.
When I got home, I found that the last bit of paperwork from my Pike County job has been done. I don't have to deal with those cunts anymore, as far as I know.
I guess things are starting to look up and I'm seeing sunlight through the murk. I'm definitely exploring Spotify tonight.
Mentally run ragged.
I seem to be going through a rough patch. Health, finances, and home are all (in the words of the Trailer Park Boys) fucky. Right now, I just need to make my sanity Priority 1. To do that, I need to write.
As far as my health is concerned, I have been frequently dizzy. This may be related to blood pressure, sugar, changing eyesight, or any combination of the three. Nonetheless, I want it fixed. Even while stone sober, I sporadically find myself bracing against walls and whatnot in an effort to keep my balance.
My blood pressure is always high, and luckily, I'm taking my medicines more frequently. I hope it helps. However, the dizziness is still there.
The next possible culprit is my sugar. It seems unlikely that my diabetes is causing my dizziness, as my A1C dropped from 8.1 to 7. So far, blood-sugar can be ruled out.
A few years ago, I noticed my eyesight going wonky (not a medical term) after being exposed to a lot of screens. It's a side-effect of the Information Age. I got an eye exam, and he said I had nothing to worry about, as far as my diabetes taking my sight. However, he said that, as I age, I will probably end up far-sighted and needing glasses in a few years. That time may have come. The dizziness intensifies when I look away after looking at something up close.
So, I'm thinking eyesight is the main culprit, followed by high blood pressure.
This dry drunkenness has affected my work. I passed out while sitting on the loveseat at work. Someone reported me for falling asleep, and so I've lost my full-time job. No one asked me if I was asleep or alright. I don't remember it. I remember thinking "Wow, I'm dizzy." Then I was sweating a lot, then I shook it off and got up.
But, then again, since I started, I felt that I was marginalized, as male staff in a nearly all-female work environment. In addition, it was almost everyone from Pike County working there, so there was that small-town, anti-outsider atmosphere. I constantly felt like the odd man out (emphasis on the word "man").
I still have my part-time job at Bridges. I'm going to try to expand my schedule there for the next week. Worst case scenario, I can get part-time hours at another group home. I just need to get through this financial rough patch.
My roommate has been catfished over the past year. This woman, "Susan", claims that she's in the Army and stationed in Africa. She won't go into a lot of detail, claiming it's too secretive. My roommate won't admit to being catfished; and she will not listen to any other point of view.
At first, I looked at this the same way I look at organized religion. "Believe what you want, regardless of how ridiculous it sounds. I won't do or say anything unless it affects me." Now, to continue the metaphor, my roommate fanatically worships "Susan", and I'm like an atheist. That is to say she wraps her whole life and future decisions around "Susan" and alienates anyone who won't go along with it; and I just don't believe "Susan" exists.
The more glitches in the matrix my roommate sees, the more glitches she ignores, and the deeper into her denial she goes. This causes a constant cognitive dissonance, which creates a tension within the household, which makes me feel like I'm walking on eggshells.
To make matters worse, "Susan" seems to know that I'm onto her, and therefore tries to have input into my homelife. She's trying to encourage my roommate to kick me out. Well, I'm doing all the research I can to try to figure out who this person is and try to catch the cunt in a lie. It's to the point where I'm being fucked with.
To make matters even worse than that, she seems to begrudge me the fact that I can see the person I'm dating, and wants to try to piss on it all she can. I may have to make a drastic life change if it doesn't get better.
Speaking of my love life, things are going well with DB. I'm making weekly trips to see her in Ellettsville (outside of Bloomington). I feel at ease when I make these trips. For one thing, I bond with her and build our relationship; for another, I like going into town and get that big-town feel of being around people. So, basically, I get to be with my babygirl, and it's in an exciting setting.
Until things get better, I have to remember the name of the Nine Inch Nails song "The Way Out Is Through."
As far as my health is concerned, I have been frequently dizzy. This may be related to blood pressure, sugar, changing eyesight, or any combination of the three. Nonetheless, I want it fixed. Even while stone sober, I sporadically find myself bracing against walls and whatnot in an effort to keep my balance.
My blood pressure is always high, and luckily, I'm taking my medicines more frequently. I hope it helps. However, the dizziness is still there.
The next possible culprit is my sugar. It seems unlikely that my diabetes is causing my dizziness, as my A1C dropped from 8.1 to 7. So far, blood-sugar can be ruled out.
A few years ago, I noticed my eyesight going wonky (not a medical term) after being exposed to a lot of screens. It's a side-effect of the Information Age. I got an eye exam, and he said I had nothing to worry about, as far as my diabetes taking my sight. However, he said that, as I age, I will probably end up far-sighted and needing glasses in a few years. That time may have come. The dizziness intensifies when I look away after looking at something up close.
So, I'm thinking eyesight is the main culprit, followed by high blood pressure.
This dry drunkenness has affected my work. I passed out while sitting on the loveseat at work. Someone reported me for falling asleep, and so I've lost my full-time job. No one asked me if I was asleep or alright. I don't remember it. I remember thinking "Wow, I'm dizzy." Then I was sweating a lot, then I shook it off and got up.
But, then again, since I started, I felt that I was marginalized, as male staff in a nearly all-female work environment. In addition, it was almost everyone from Pike County working there, so there was that small-town, anti-outsider atmosphere. I constantly felt like the odd man out (emphasis on the word "man").
I still have my part-time job at Bridges. I'm going to try to expand my schedule there for the next week. Worst case scenario, I can get part-time hours at another group home. I just need to get through this financial rough patch.
My roommate has been catfished over the past year. This woman, "Susan", claims that she's in the Army and stationed in Africa. She won't go into a lot of detail, claiming it's too secretive. My roommate won't admit to being catfished; and she will not listen to any other point of view.
At first, I looked at this the same way I look at organized religion. "Believe what you want, regardless of how ridiculous it sounds. I won't do or say anything unless it affects me." Now, to continue the metaphor, my roommate fanatically worships "Susan", and I'm like an atheist. That is to say she wraps her whole life and future decisions around "Susan" and alienates anyone who won't go along with it; and I just don't believe "Susan" exists.
The more glitches in the matrix my roommate sees, the more glitches she ignores, and the deeper into her denial she goes. This causes a constant cognitive dissonance, which creates a tension within the household, which makes me feel like I'm walking on eggshells.
To make matters worse, "Susan" seems to know that I'm onto her, and therefore tries to have input into my homelife. She's trying to encourage my roommate to kick me out. Well, I'm doing all the research I can to try to figure out who this person is and try to catch the cunt in a lie. It's to the point where I'm being fucked with.
To make matters even worse than that, she seems to begrudge me the fact that I can see the person I'm dating, and wants to try to piss on it all she can. I may have to make a drastic life change if it doesn't get better.
Speaking of my love life, things are going well with DB. I'm making weekly trips to see her in Ellettsville (outside of Bloomington). I feel at ease when I make these trips. For one thing, I bond with her and build our relationship; for another, I like going into town and get that big-town feel of being around people. So, basically, I get to be with my babygirl, and it's in an exciting setting.
Until things get better, I have to remember the name of the Nine Inch Nails song "The Way Out Is Through."
Wednesday, April 5, 2017
Just relaxing tonight.
There's nothing much going on tonight. I'm relaxing in between games while listening to episodes of Family Guy and Futurama. I might even do some editing on some stories I've been working on; names for ideas keep changing and I'm never satisfied.
Today, I'm going to ask DB if it's O.K. if I use her real first name in my blog. I visited her Sunday and stayed the night. We had a fun, flirty time together, and had fun with her son. She has this smile, I describe it as a combination of sexy and cute, that she gives me when she's trying to get on my good side; LOL. I have to get a picture of it for her directory ID.
We went to the ThinkGeek store at the College Mall. We were both disappointed in the fact that the Facebook page made the store look like it was a lot bigger than it turned out to be. We then went to Hot Topic, and I got her a Loki figurine (she has a crush on Tom Hiddleston), and I got a necklace of the Playstation buttons.
We then went to the bookstore. They each got a book, but I got nothing; we all had a blast nonetheless. She looked for New Kids on The Block vinyl; I think it's cute that she's still a New Kids fangirl.
After her son got a haircut, we went TV shopping. There was a cute moment that I've been gushing to friends about; I reached into her car to get something, and my supporting hand slipped; she said "Does this mean you're falling for me?" I responded with "Well, I am in like with you." She walked away smiling. I then helped set her TV up. I made a mental note that I might have to get one sometime soon. Anyway, while we were sitting it up, I sat on the loveseat and she sat between my legs and I rubbed her shoulders.
Later, we watched the Yogi Bear movie while cuddling on the couch. Then at night, we curled up together while she read from a book to me.
Today, I'm going to ask DB if it's O.K. if I use her real first name in my blog. I visited her Sunday and stayed the night. We had a fun, flirty time together, and had fun with her son. She has this smile, I describe it as a combination of sexy and cute, that she gives me when she's trying to get on my good side; LOL. I have to get a picture of it for her directory ID.
We went to the ThinkGeek store at the College Mall. We were both disappointed in the fact that the Facebook page made the store look like it was a lot bigger than it turned out to be. We then went to Hot Topic, and I got her a Loki figurine (she has a crush on Tom Hiddleston), and I got a necklace of the Playstation buttons.
We then went to the bookstore. They each got a book, but I got nothing; we all had a blast nonetheless. She looked for New Kids on The Block vinyl; I think it's cute that she's still a New Kids fangirl.
After her son got a haircut, we went TV shopping. There was a cute moment that I've been gushing to friends about; I reached into her car to get something, and my supporting hand slipped; she said "Does this mean you're falling for me?" I responded with "Well, I am in like with you." She walked away smiling. I then helped set her TV up. I made a mental note that I might have to get one sometime soon. Anyway, while we were sitting it up, I sat on the loveseat and she sat between my legs and I rubbed her shoulders.
Later, we watched the Yogi Bear movie while cuddling on the couch. Then at night, we curled up together while she read from a book to me.
This relationship with DB has been amazing so far.
Time for Netflix and chicken tenders.
Time for Netflix and chicken tenders.
Wednesday, March 29, 2017
Latest happenings.
Time sometimes just flies by. Blogging helps me stop and smell the flowers. But, when things are hectic, I can't always do that. However, I do this when I can.
Since I can't really remember seasonal depression hitting me hard last year, I guess it came back with a vengeance this time around. Somewhere at the end of winter, close to the beginning of summer, anxiety, disconnection, and dejection take their toll. As I said, it did this year, really hard. I guess, being a lover of fall and winter, I get anxious and feel out of place when the first signs of spring hit. Those first rains come and melt away the beautiful snow, and let me know that allergy season and the rebirth of bugs are right around the corner. I feel out of place.
Work has been going steady. Due to complications with residents, I've been working full-time in the Co-ed Home. I can't say more without violating privacy laws. Those complications will be resolved soon, and I will be back at the Men's Home. I miss it there; for one thing, it's just 12 miles away, not 20; and I don't have to be there unnecessarily early, because the workshop staff drops them off.
Though things aren't official, I've been dating DB, from Bloomington, since the beginning of this year! I'm crushing on her hard, and I spend a couple of days with her almost every week. She feels genuine; I don't feel like she's tired of me and ready to move onto the next monthly relationship.
We share the same sense of sarcastic sense of humor. And her son is into Dr. Who, also! Recently, we went to Brickworld, a Lego expo, in Indianapolis. Also, we're always coming up with new date ideas.
However, there are problems. This coming month, I have to take some vacation time to be with her for a few days, since she's going to be having surgery (I won't go into detail).
Just a lot going on. Working through some writers' block, but I think it will be fine.
Since I can't really remember seasonal depression hitting me hard last year, I guess it came back with a vengeance this time around. Somewhere at the end of winter, close to the beginning of summer, anxiety, disconnection, and dejection take their toll. As I said, it did this year, really hard. I guess, being a lover of fall and winter, I get anxious and feel out of place when the first signs of spring hit. Those first rains come and melt away the beautiful snow, and let me know that allergy season and the rebirth of bugs are right around the corner. I feel out of place.
Work has been going steady. Due to complications with residents, I've been working full-time in the Co-ed Home. I can't say more without violating privacy laws. Those complications will be resolved soon, and I will be back at the Men's Home. I miss it there; for one thing, it's just 12 miles away, not 20; and I don't have to be there unnecessarily early, because the workshop staff drops them off.
Though things aren't official, I've been dating DB, from Bloomington, since the beginning of this year! I'm crushing on her hard, and I spend a couple of days with her almost every week. She feels genuine; I don't feel like she's tired of me and ready to move onto the next monthly relationship.
We share the same sense of sarcastic sense of humor. And her son is into Dr. Who, also! Recently, we went to Brickworld, a Lego expo, in Indianapolis. Also, we're always coming up with new date ideas.
However, there are problems. This coming month, I have to take some vacation time to be with her for a few days, since she's going to be having surgery (I won't go into detail).
Just a lot going on. Working through some writers' block, but I think it will be fine.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)