I just recently went through a really bad heartbreak. It happened the 15th of this month. Not the usual thing, either. This is something I've never gone through before. The one person that understands, the one that I went through the heartbreak with, has been so quiet lately. She swore me to secrecy, and then stops talking at the time I'm hurting most. I'm not ashamed to say that I broke my vow of silence and talked to a person who's been a friend I could confide in for years.
She's dealing with it her own unproductive way, and I'm dealing with it my own way. The day I found out was, coincidentally, my day off. As a Laveyan Satanist, I see my home as sacred territory, and a place to get centered. In addition, I use what is traditionally known as the 7 Deadly Sins to get centered. I stayed home and engaged in gluttony, sloth, and wrath. I ate Chinese food, drank rum, ate two P'Zones, laid around, and listened to blasphemous death metal.
Listening to death metal was satisfying because she said that maybe what happened was God's will. So, naturally, the first two songs I listened to were "Mad At God" and "Fuck Your God", both by Deicide.
Right now, I'm dealing with her silence by trying to cope on my own. I'm writing, crunching numbers on roleplaying games, listening to podcasts, and watching comedians with a jaded sense of humor. I wish I knew what to do at this point. I don't have parents, nothing. I can't deal right now.
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